Growing Up

I've endured a lot of growing pains the last few weeks and thought I would catch y'all up on what's been happening.

First, I feel like I've been bending over backwards to be friends with people who just aren't reciprocating. I finally realized that instead of putting all my efforts into people who really don't care, I should be spending time working on my testimony and really getting to know the Savior. I've learned that when all is said and done, He's the one that matters the most. Although I regret and feel bad when my "friendship" efforts are rejected, I will actually be rejected if I don't have that personal relationship with the Savior at the end of my journey. Don't misread this. I still want friends. I still want to be sociable. I just won't be so focused on being involved in everything.

Second, I'm finally making headway where my weight loss is concerned. I've put my money where my mouth is and have found an organization that is helping me tremendously. They focus on Mental, Physical and Nutritional aspects of weight loss. I have found more success in the past 5 weeks than I was on my own in 5 months time. To date, I have lost 10 pounds and 15 inches. I feel better and I'm changing my outlook on time, food and exercise. I feel blessed to have found a place that is within my "price" range. When it comes right down to it, I had to just choose a plan and just trust the process. I'm pleased to report that I'm doing great and I'm actually enjoying the journey and not cringing every time I step on that scale twice a week.

Third, I've come face to face with mortality. No one has past on....yet, but I've learned the value of life. I'm trying to take each day for what it has to offer and make it memorable. A wise woman (my Beehive Advisor) once told me that it's the relationships that matter in this life. I would add that it's the relationships with family in particular that matter most. I'm trying to really make an effort to love and accept my extended family and what they have to offer our relationship.

Fourth, I've learned the value of myself. I've suffered from depression and still do. It is very difficult sometimes to even get out of bed and participate in life. I have had terrible self-talk and have just said the most awful things to myself on a daily basis. I've been trying to re-program my self-talk and self-image and I'm making progress. It helps to be succeeding at something I've failed at numerous times. I finally believe I'm worth it.