I was diagnosed with depression in 2003. I have struggled with the label ever since.
I do believe that depression is real.
I do believe that you can't just "think happy thoughts" and be cured of this disease.
I don't believe that everyone needs to be treated with medication.
I don't believe that you have depression for the rest of your life, but I don't believe there is a cure.
Today was a discussion of Gratitude. I think the common consensus is that gratitude is a state of attitude. It was alluded that someone with depression does not have the mindset of gratitude and that if they would change their way of thinking, a person with depression would be better off.
Although I agree that ANYONE with an attitude of gratitude is better off, I don't believe that a person with depression fails to be grateful.
I have come across numerous people who have very strong opinions about depression and share them freely in the open forum of a church meeting. My first response is to get offended for their hasty judgment of me, because I do take their comments to heart. But then I have to remind myself that they don't know me. They don't know my history. They don't know why I have episodes of depression. They have probably never suffered from depression themselves.
I think back to the days of the early saints/pioneers and the physical hardships they had to endure. They were driven from their homes, they were prosecuted for their beliefs. They walked and walked and walked across the plains to search for freedom. Many just sat down and died because of the physical strain on their bodies and lack of nourishment. On that note, I have had the thought that we are pioneers in our day as well. We aren't being asked to suffer from physical hardships. We are enduring mental hardships in our dispensation.
I truly believe that we are given trails and experiences in our lives that mold and shape us into the person our Heavenly Father desires us to become. I believe that my journey through this life is mine alone. NO ONE is having the same experiences in the same sequence as myself. We are saved by individual ordinances and we are who we are by individual trials and experiences along the way.
So, unless you have not only walked a mile in my shoes carrying 100 extra pounds of weight but also have the hindsight of childhood molestation and going virtually crazy when old men approach your children in the park and live in a controlled "muddle" to keep from going off the deep end of the abyss, keep your comments to yourself and simply love me for who I am and pray to know how to help me along my way as I strive to help you along yours.
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7 comments:
I SO know what you mean. People can be pretty small-minded sometimes. I've heard everything from people with depression are just lazy, to people who take anti-depressants are incapable to feeling the Spirit. It's frustrating. Maybe that's why I'm so open about it on my blog -to educate people on the subject. I'm glad you're blogging about it too. It's a severely sucky thing to live with, but by blogging about it I think you'll find a great virtual support system is there for you. I don't think people mean to be idiots about depression -I just think they don't know enough about it. They form opinions based on bad or insufficient information. Maybe they don't know of anyone personally that suffers from it, or maybe they know a complete nut job who has it. By opening yourself up and by sharing your experience you are helping them too. And the more they know, the better friends they can and will be.
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I wish I lived closer so I could do more to help. Just know I'm thinking about you. Hey what kind of art do you like? I'll paint you something. Seriously, let me know.
Thank you for sharing that. I think it helps to get a peek into others lives sometimes to help us all be more compassionate. If there is something I have learned over the years, it is to not judge. No matter how much I think I know about a situation I have learned it is better not to judge and just think the best of others. I love you. That took courage for you to write. Thanks for sharing.
P.S. when do you want to get together?!?
I know what you're talking about. This last year I went on Wellbutrin for 6 months and it was THE best decision I ever made. I decided after 6 months to go off of it though, because the one negative side effect was a deeper depression than ever for 2 days of the month. The other 28 were great though, lol. Hopefully I've figured out how to manage my moods myself, and hopefully I don't have to experience another deep one again, but if I do, I will not be afraid to go back on meds. Some people chastise you for this, but what business is it of theirs. What works for one, won't work for another.
I had depression for a few months - just long enough for me to be grateful it was a short term - health related thing, and to understand others better. Can't imagine that the last years have helped much. Glad you are in a new spot and pray that each day will hold moments of joy for you.
This was a great blog post with points that I hadn't considered before! I really liked the statement about pioneers with mental hardships. I am sorry that you are battling with these kinds of hardships.
I do not know if this is what YOU meant, but I have heard it in the past from OTHER people who publicly discuss their own depression. They immediately assume that because I don't look like them or express myself like them or wear the same size as them that I cannot possibly understand what depression is. I choose (well, as best as I can) to wear the light and hope of my life in my words and my thoughts instead of the dark and damage of the past. I do not think it fair to assume that because one is a proponent of practicing the habit of happiness to help dissipate depression means that they are naive about the dark.
I really liked this post! I just thought parts of the last paragraph seemed to conflict the original idea about not judging others because one does not know what they have experienced.
(Here's hoping my opinion comes across as a discussion point or a simple posing of another view.)
Adhis, Thanks for the post. I do realize that my post was a bit rambling.
To clarify, I don't have a problem with people giving opinions with ways that help them stay off depression. I DO have a problem when other's start discussing medication for depression.
I also concede the fact that in my haste to keep other's from judging me, I judge them.
I did say that our experiences are individual but I did not mean to imply that we are on this journey alone. I cherish those who love and support me along my way. We are meant to help one another out and to lend support. I meant that just because someone else has had the same experience doesn't mean they can judge me for mine nor that their solution and life lesson will be the same for me.
Recently I talked with a doctor who wasn't thrilled with the fact that I was taking anti-depressants. He alluded to the fact that it kept me in a controlled "middle of the road" with the inability to experience true happiness. I do agree with him. I do agree that my medication inhibits some "highs"; however, I will take the middle of the road when the alternative is deep depression. A depression that keeps me from functioning as a friend, a mother, a wife, and a daughter of God.
Someday, I will be free of medication, but I don't feel I will be free of depression. I think it is something that will need to be consistently monitored.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. You put into words lots of my own thoughts regarding depression. For all, the best thing to do is to be loving and understanding of others situations. I didn't know you were molested as a child. I was once as a teenager. It's something that I can't forget no matter how hard I try or how hard I try to forgive that person whom I still have a "relationship" with. He's never admitted it which drives me crazy whenever I open the door to that particular chapter of my life. Besides, he essentially denied it years ago so I don't see him fessing up to it now. Please know Christi that I am here for you! May the Lord continue His watchful eye over you.
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